she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
