none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
