Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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