Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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