The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
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Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize