it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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