hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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