South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do vagina's smell?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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