he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
