i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
