im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
