Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
