alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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