Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Come on in and take your pants off
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