Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
