Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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