I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
