He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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