He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
