is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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