just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
