I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
