my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
