If that was your dad, he is hot
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
