Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
