I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it glows. i had to have it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
