I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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