I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize