This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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