You're so nebulous sometimes
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
