you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
