Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
