At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
