I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
