i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
