As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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