that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
