how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
