Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
