I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize