I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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