Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
