i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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