yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
