...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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