so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
