Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
They have beer where we have blood.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
