you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
