the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
