chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
