We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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