I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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