my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Farmville is her only friend.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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