I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just had sex bonerless
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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