Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
