idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Houston, we have a squirter
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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