He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
