i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
