A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
