It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
