Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Me. At least after what I've been through.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
