New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
