I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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