She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
