Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
