i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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