i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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