In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
