I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
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Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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