We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize