I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
