i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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