haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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