buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
