I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
