i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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