she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
